A Picture is Worth a Thousand Swear Words
by Tugboats
Summary: To make up for all the bad deeds they've done, the Akatsuki has decided to do one hundred hours of community service. But why did Deidara and Sasori think it would be a good idea for them to teach an art class? CAMEO REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED.
1. Repent, fools!

Notes: This was inspired by a little roleplay that my friend and I had going over e-mail (for those who've read Party with the Akatsuki, it's the second installment Ace and I are continuing in secret). It involved Ace's original character becoming friends with Satan. Deidara commented, "You're friends with Satan? That's awesome. He controls HELL. Where we will all probably go someday." So, Satan said that they could do community service to wipe out their bad deeds. But, unlike this fic, in that story they cleaned up garbage on the freeway. But I thought art class would be much better. Now read the story, chumps and chumpettes.

Disclaimer:

Grass is green

Water is wet

I don't own _Naruto_

Nor do I own "chumps and chumpettes"

"Chumps and chumpettes" is an original quote by the same character who befriended Satan. I LOVE YOU RACCOON! And this is a stupid, goofy humor story, so they're going to be a little OOC. But their personalities are essentially the same. So bear with me here.

SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING! Do not pass this little note thing UNLESS you know all the spoilers OR aren't afraid of getting spoiled of the Akatsuki! You've been warned...

-:-

"Booooooooooooored," Tobi drawled from the headquarters. They'd finally cleaned up after a very hot party, but they found that they rather missed the party. Without everybody around them, being generally crazy, it was boring.

Luckily, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Tobi shouted, jumping off their black leather couch and scampering to the doorway. He threw open the door to see a mailman.

"Uh...hi," the mailman said, looking slightly uncomfortable with the fact that he was standing next to a guy in a swirly mask and a cloud-printed robe. "So, here's an express mail letter for you."

Tobi slammed the door in the mailman's face and pranced back to the couch. "Guys! We have fan mail!" He started waving the envelope in their faces.

"Nice envelope," Kakuzu muttered, examining the black envelope. "It appears our name and address have been written in flames."

"These fans are freaks," Hidan snorted.

"Give me that, you idiots," Pein snapped, snatching the envelope out of Tobi's hands. He seemed to be getting more and more worried with each word he read. He dropped the letter. "I need a drink."

"Wow, is it that hard to read, un?" Deidara mumbled. Kisame leaned over and picked up the dropped letter and started reading it out loud.

"'Dear Akatsuki Members,'" he started. "'It has come to our attention that you have been committing many murders in the past week.' Well duh, we're in the Akatsuki. 'You have all racked up a number of jail years, which none of you have ever completed.' We're criminals! What do they expect? 'Anyway, I have written to say that I will collect Sasori and Kakuzu so I can bring them to Hell.'"

Sasori and Kakuzu simultaneously spat water all over Hidan. "WHAT?"

"Do you guys mind, dammit?" Hidan grumbled.

"'I will be coming at two o'clock. Sincerely, Satan,'" Kisame finished. "Wow, what a dramatic letter. Anyone got the time?"

"Sure, it's quarter of two," Zetsu said. Kakuzu and Sasori both fell on the floor. "What? Was it something I said? All I said was that it's quarter of two."

Sasori and Kakuzu jumped up. "We don't have much time," Kakuzu yelled. He ran upstairs.

"Hidan, go follow him," Itachi mumbled. Hidan groaned and followed Kakuzu up the stairs.

"Kakuzu, what are you doing?" he asked, noticing Kakuzu trying to cram himself into the toilet.

"I'm hiding from Satan!"

"He'd probably leave you alone if you paid him enough money," Hidan chuckled. Kakuzu looked shocked.

"Pay him? Never!" And thus, he continued cramming himself into the pipes.

"I guess we won't be able to use this toilet for a while," Hidan mumbled, walking out of the bathroom.

"So, did you talk to Kakuzu?" Zetsu asked.

"Yeah. He's trying to cram himself in the toilet."

"Damn," Pein mumbled. "That's the best toilet we have in this dump."

Tobi rushed into the room. "Deidara-senpai? Will you help me with Sasori?" Tobi dragged Deidara into the next room. "He's in here."

Sasori was curled up on the ground in fetal position. "No...can't...go..."

"Sasori, get up," Deidara mumbled.

"Puppets..."

"Great. He's gone insane," Deidara mumbled. "Let's lock him up until Satan gets here."

Tobi appeared to be worried. "We aren't saving them from Hell?"

"What?"

"Can't we try to pay Satan or something?"

"I already suggested that," Hidan said from the doorway. "Kakuzu gasped and continued stuffing himself into the plumbing. Which is probably about to burst."

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"AAH!" Sasori yelped, locking himself in a broom closet.

"Okay," Deidara whispered. "Let's pretend to be other people."

"Who iiiiiiiiiiiis it?" Pein sang from his spot by the doorway.

"This is Satan," a low voice sang back. "I'm here to pick up Kakuzu and Sasori."

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid you have the wrong address," Deidara hollered at him.

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" The door then crashed down. A tall guy with a goatee walked in. He was dressed in all red and black. "Bring them to me, you fools!"

"But...um...Kakuzu's a good guy?" Hidan said rather dubiously. "And so is Sasori?"

"Nice try," Satan chuckled. "Now bring them to me at once. Oh, and here's my number," he added, handing a black piece of paper to Pein. "Call me when you croak. I've got a special spot in Hell reserved for you guys."

"Have fun, guys!" Hidan laughed, trying to walk away.

"Not so fast," Satan hissed. "I can still drag you down."

They were rather worried. Come on, Hell? It was bad enough that Sasori and Kakuzu were getting dragged down. THEY also had to go down once they were dead. It made them wish that they weren't criminals. They should've been sweet and innocent like their mommies had told them to be. Sweet and innocent...that's it!

Hidan nudged Tobi. "Act cute," he mumbled.

Tobi walked over to Satan and looked up shyly. "Please, Satan-sama," he whimpered. "Don't make us all go to Hell."

Satan got a really freaky-looking expression on his face, which the Akatsuki took as a good sign and assumed was compassion.

"Is there any other way?" Tobi asked, still acting sweet and innocent.

"Well..." Satan mumbled. "You could always do community service..."

"So we pick up trash for ten hours and we're free to go?" Hidan asked hopefully.

Satan laughed. "Oh no. You're going to have to work for at least one hundred hours."

Hidan looked disappointed. "Okay, what should we do?"

"I have a big list right here," Satan said, giving Tobi more black paper. "Just pick what type of community service you'd all like to do, and then after 100 hours, you're free to go."

"Wow, you seem so nice," Tobi said. "Aren't you supposed to be all evil and tricky?"

Satan looked down at his feet. An electronic anklet was attached to his ankle. "I—uh—had a moment of kindness?" he guessed. "Be grateful, brats." The anklet started buzzing. "I mean, uh, yes, I hope you appreciate my kindness."

Deidara snatched the list out of Tobi's hands. "Lemme see this," he said, skimming through it. Sasori magically appeared next to him.

"Let's go decide!" The two left the room with the flaming black paper to decide on the community service.

"I'm outta here," Satan grumbled. "Bye." He disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"...did that just happen?"

-:-

"So, what kind of community service did you guys decide on?" Tobi asked cheerfully as they waited for the Parallel Universe jet to arrive and take them to their destination.

"Does it have good pay?" Kakuzu asked.

"Kakuzu, the whole point is to help, not make a profit," Zetsu snickered. "But are you guys going to tell us?"

"No," Sasori said. "Close your eyes. The jet is here."

Somehow, they all listened to him and shut their eyes. They kept them shut for the entire plane ride, which was approximately fifty hours. That's half the amount of community service time right there! But, unfortunately, riding on a plane doesn't help the community. So they still had one hundred hours to go.

-:-

"We're here, un!" Deidara called out.

"You can open your eyes now," Sasori added.

One by one, they opened their eyes. The members took in the whiteboard, the rows of desks and chairs, the huge desk at the front of the room, and paintings. Lots and lots of paintings. And were those...inspirational posters? That could only mean one thing...

"YOU SENT US TO AN ART CLASS???"

-:-

Note: Yes, it was ME who attached the anklet! FEAR MY RELIGIOUS BELIEFS!

I didn't seem to have too many spoilers, but I might've had spoilers in it and not known, so that very intense spoiler warning was there so I wouldn't get attacked by people. And I know Itachi didn't appear in this chapter very much. Don't worry; everybody will have their shining moments. For now, just enjoy the story.

Typical of Deidara and Sasori, huh? Are they going to have one of their big art arguments? Probably. Are they going to force the students to take sides? Definitely. Are they going to attack the kids if they act rude? Depends on who you're talking about...

And if you want to be one of the kids/teenagers in the community art class, just fill out this little application. Original Characters also can be kids, but this is America, just so you know.

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Appearance (hair, eyes, skin, clothes):

Favorite Akatsuki Member(s):

Least Favorite Akatsuki Member(s):

Random Details That Rayne Should Know:

Have fun!


	2. Welcome to the Akatsuki's Art Class!

Note: I think I'll continue this story. So far I only have four students signed up for the community service art class, who are Meya, the Goth Angel of Death (a.k.a Brittany), Monika Muñoz, Kori Fuyu, and Rae Yasu, who was PM-ed to me.

-:-

"I can't believe we're teaching a damned art class," Hidan grumbled, putting his scythe in the coat closet.

"Cheer up!" Tobi said perkily. "I think we will have a great time!"

"Tobi is right," Sasori said. "And besides, we only have four people signed up right now."

"Only four?" Deidara gasped. "But—but—but that's not nearly enough!"

"Cheer up, senpai!" Tobi said, patting Deidara on the head. "We'll have fun!"

As the clock struck ten am, the opened the doors and four girls walked in.

"Okay, welcome," Deidara said. "Sit wherever you want, and then we'll start the class, un."

The four girls all sat down on stools in front of individual easels.

"Okay," Pein mumbled. "Meya, the Goth Angel of Death?"

"Here," a girl said, raising her hand slightly. She appeared to be around sixteen. Her long, shiny black hair was pulled into two ponytails at the sides of her head, drawing attention to her pale skin, which looked even paler against her purple lipstick and rather excessive eyeshadow. She wore a black tank top over a blood red long-sleeved top and a black lace-trimmed miniskirt, as well as black nail polish and three silver hoops in each ear. Her eyes appeared to be red.

"Can we just call you Meya?" Kakuzu asked from the corner.

"That's fine," she said, showing off her tongue ring shaped like a black cat.

"Okay," Pein said. "Monika... Muñoz?"

"Yeah, that's it," another girl said. She was considerably older than Meya, perhaps around twenty-one. She shared Meya's pale skin and inky black hair, but she had freckles and wore her hair loose, with dyed-white tips. Though her eyes were a color occurring in nature (blue), they appeared to be pupil less. Her black t-shirt read, "Happiness is just a word to me" and was worn with jeans. A black Peruvian rose was holding back her hair, and she was listening to music while they called roll.

Konan took over the roll book. "Kori Fuyu?"

"Shut the hell up, I'm here," another girl drawled. She seemed around nineteen years old. She shared the previous girls' black hair, but unlike Monika and Meya, she had tanned skin and normal-seeming gray eyes. She, like the others, wore eyeshadow, and she also had a piercing right above her upper lip. Kori sported a black jacket, a silver tank top, black pants, and black Chucks.

"And finally...Rae Yasu?"

"Here!" the final girl shouted. She was as different from the others as she could be and still be the same species. For one thing, her hair was bright red and in a bouncy ponytail, and she sported a huge, rather creepy smile. She was dressed simply, in a blue t-shirt and black Capri pants, and she had plain green eyes. And she was much younger than them, only thirteen.

"Okay, that's everyone," Pein said.

"Wait!" Rae cried. "Aren't you guys the Akatsuki?"

Every single Akatsuki member froze, their faces masks of shock.

"Great," Meya snorted. "You just killed off the people we're supposed to be learning art from. Nice work."

"Thank you!" Rae squealed, apparently unable to detect sarcasm. Meya responded by scooting her stool and easel closer to Kori.

"Give us one second," Kisame said, running out of the room with everyone.

-:-

"Hi, there's a lot of noise in the background, so obviously I'm somewhere cool and can't talk to you right now. Leave me your name and number and I'll call you back when I'm not somewhere cool or I'm not having fun. Bye." (1)

"Voice mail again!" Itachi grunted, ready to burn the phone.

"These calls are getting expensive," Kakuzu sighed.

"Try again," Kisame hissed. "I am not going to let her do this."

They once again dialed Rayne.

"Hello?"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SEND US TO???" Hidan screamed into the phone.

"Earth," Rayne said meekly. "Is there a problem?"

"Yes," Pein said. "These people know who we are and know what's going to happen to us!"

"Well duh," Rayne said. "_Naruto_'s a really popular show on Earth."

"What? That idiot has his own show?"

"Yeah, and you guys are on it. Everyone watches it, and it's super popular. You also have a manga."

"I still don't understand it," Kakuzu mumbled.

"You don't have to," Rayne grumbled. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have important things to do." She hung up.

-:-

The Akatsuki all walked into the room.

"Tobi's back!" Rae yelled.

"Yes I am!" Tobi squealed back at her.

"Deidara," Rae said, turning solemnly to Deidara and sticking her tongue out.

"Hey, don't diss Delilah," Monika chuckled. "It's not his fault that he thinks art is a bang when it clearly is something that should last forever."

Two things happened at once. Deidara jumped up and shouted, "Hey!", while Sasori stood up and clapped his hands.

"Monika is right!" he explained to the class.

"HOW?" Rae shouted back at him.

"Shut the hell up," Kori grumbled.

"NO." Rae defiantly replied.

"Anyway—" Sasori tried to cut in.

"Shut your frigging mouth or I'll shut it for you," Kori snarled back at Rae.

"But how will I eat cheese?" Rae gasped. She seemed to actually mean what she said.

Meya leaned over and poked Rae with her paintbrush. "Shut up."

"SHUT UP!" Hidan shouted at the top of his lungs. They all shut up, even Rae.

"We came here to create art," Deidara said. "NOT give me nicknames and side with Sasori."

Monika grinned.

"So, first we'll paint portraits to last forever," Sasori put in.

"No," Deidara scoffed. "We're making fireworks, un!"

"Portraits!"

"Fireworks!"

"Portraits!"

"Fireworks!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Hidan yelled again, punching both of them. "Just paint a still life or something." With that said, he plopped a bowl of fruit on the table. "Shut your damned mouths and paint this."

"Food!" Zetsu said excitedly. He ate the whole bowl.

Pein looked stricken. "Zetsu!"

"Nice one," Meya murmured.

"Sorry." Zetsu burped, and up came the empty bowl.

"So..." Itachi mumbled. "Paint the bowl, or you can put something in it. Just paint."

All four heads immediately dropped down to the easels. Meya, Rae and Kori all started painting immediately, but Monika paused to think.

"Paint an explosion," Deidara whispered.

"Thanks, Delilah, but I think I'm good," she smirked, and started painting, leaving Deidara standing there looking shocked.

"This is boring," Kisame whispered to Kakuzu.

"I know," Kakuzu whispered back. "I wanna get paid."

"Done!" Rae shouted.

"Great," Sasori muttered. "Just be quiet until everyone else is done."

"HOW DO YOU BE QUIET???"

-:-

A few minutes later, the other girls finished.

"Okay. Now whose is this, un?" Deidara asked, holding up a painting. Everyone stared.

The bowl was still a white porcelain bowl, but the rest of the backdrop had changed dramatically. The table had bloody claw-marks on it, and fingernails were stuck in the scratched wood. (2) The floor had some of the leftover blood staining it, and the walls were also clawed, with "Pein brings pain" written on the wall. The bowl, naturally, was filled with blood and chipped in several places.

"Over here," Meya said, waving him over to her stool. "Like it?"

Hidan was the first to speak. "I love it!" he gushed, stepping out of character.

"It's very...interesting," Pein mumbled.

"Thanks."

"Okay," Deidara coughed. "Moving on. Whose is this?" He held up another painting, which was very different from Meya's bloody yet somehow beautiful painting.

The bowl was on the table, and it was filled with cheese. In the background, a red-haired girl was playing guitar, a gray horse was seated at a drum kit, a red-haired guy (with a peanut-shaped gourd) with a frown so large it went off his face was playing the piano, and Hidan and Zetsu were singing into microphones. And it was all very poorly drawn. (3)

"That's mine!" Rae squealed. "It's our band. We're called The Peanuts!"

"How very nice," Deidara mumbled. "Anyway...whose is this?"

That painting was very abstract, with the fruit shaped like ribbons and weaving around each other in intricate designs.

"Mine," Kori called out.

"Okay," Deidara said. "So, Monika, is this one yours?"

"You're right, Delilah."

Monika's painting was of the bowl on the table, neither of which bloodstained. Instead of fruit, cheese or blood, her bowl was filled with black lilies and richly painted dark red roses.

"It's beautiful!" Sasori gushed. "It is beautiful and will last forever, like true art should!"

"Wrong," Deidara said. "True art is a bang!"

"Forever!"

"Bang!"

"Forever!"

"Bang!"

Hidan sighed and walked in between the two of them. "If you two say one more word about damned art, you'll lose your heads."

"Damn straight!" Kori shouted.

"I have an idea, Hidan-sama!" Tobi put in. "Let's see what the others think about art!"

"Good idea!" Deidara called out. He immediately shut his mouth as Hidan pressed his scythe against his throat.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Kori chanted. Rae joined in.

With an astonishing display of strength, Deidara pushed Hidan's scythe away.

"Now, what do you guys think? Forever? Or a BANG?"

"You can tell the truth," Sasori said. "We won't get angry at you..."

-:-

Note: Ooh! Do you guys like how I made your characters act? You can tell me if you want me to change anything. And every person will have a little main chapter, so everyone gets equal airtime.

(1) Yes, that is my actual voice mail message. It may be mean, but it suits me.

(2) I knew I shouldn't have watched _Ghost Whisperer_. I'm too much of a wimp for supernatural stuff.

(3) The girl who created Rae and I once drew that picture. It did end up looking disturbing.

Speaking of cameos, I'm still accepting more. This art class is too small! If you want to be in it, fill out this form:

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Appearance (hair, eyes, skin, clothes):

Favorite Akatsuki Member(s):

Least Favorite Akatsuki Member(s):

Random Details That Rayne Should Know:

And that's it!


	3. Bite me!

Note: Wow, check out all these characters

Note: Wow, check out all these characters! I'm going to be having fun. And Rae will have fun bothering everyone.

I hate to say this, but **I'm going to have to close cameos for now**. I'm drowning in cameos (it's so nice that so many people want to be in the story!), and the art class doesn't have room for any more people in it. Once I've used all of the characters and given them attention, I'll accept more, but right now, **please do not submit any cameos.**

One more thing—has is really been six months? Half a freaking year?? Everyone slap me right now!

-:-

"Yay, it's time for art class!" Tobi squealed, prancing to the door. "We can paint pictures, and then color with pastels, and we can all help the students and be really nice!"

"Shut up, Tobi."

"Yes, senpai!"

"I don't get this," Sasori grumbled. "We only have four students."

"No," Pein said, "We actually have thirteen new students in the class."

"Really?" Deidara asked. "That's awesome!"

"But it's unlucky!" Kakuzu gasped.

"It's cool!" Tobi squealed. "We can help even more people this way!"

"Tobi?"

"Yes?"

"Shaddap."

-:-

"Welcome back," Konan said, trying her best to smile at the students. The result was disturbing. "Um...we'll call roll now. Meya?"

"Here," Meya said, leaning back in her chair.

"Okay," Konan murmured, writing something in the roll book. "Monika?"

"Here," Monika said, taking off her thin glasses and setting them on her book. Today, her shirt read, "What?! He was already dead when I got here!"

"Okay. Kori?"

"Here," Kori grunted.

"Rae?"

"Hi, Konan!" Rae squealed. "Are you having a good day?"

"...I guess," Konan sighed. "Anyway...Mei Mian?"

"Here!" called out the seventeen-year-old girl sitting next to Monika. Like Monika, Mei appeared to be a fan of strange t-shirts, her shirt reading, "GET BENT!" He black hair was streaked with red, matching her black glasses and red braces. On her neck was a moon-shaped birthmark, contrasting with her pale skin.

"Great," Konan said. "Sabi?"

"Hi!" a girl with spiky off-white hair called out. Long bangs fell into her eyes, which were two different colors (red and orange). Standing out against her pale skin was a black hoodie that said "WTF" on the back in white block letters. She was wearing it with tan shorts and black Converses. Draped around her neck was a pair of large, orange-and-black headphones.

"Hello," Konan muttered. "Emilie?"

"Yo," a blonde girl sitting in the back said. Her eyes were hazel, and her skin was pale. She was dressed in a pair of gray stovepipe jeans and a white shirt printed with black abstract designs.

One of the guys grinned at her. She waved back with cyan-painted nails.

Konan merely sighed and went on to the next name. "...Puppet?"

"Here."

"Hey, aren't you a Pokemon?" Rae demanded. "Because I totally love Pokèmon. One time I was playing Pokèmon with my cousin Keith, and then we decided to battle each other, and he had a level 100 Pokèmon and I was a newbie so my Pokèmon were really low levels so Keith beat me and then he called me a wimp and I cried."

Puppet raised his eyebrows, overlapping the x-shaped scar on his forehead. "That's fascinating."

"I know!" Rae squealed excitedly. "Hey, what are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be in the Pokèmon world?"

Puppet sighed. "Yeah, but I got sent here after taking over the world."

Rae stared at him with awe. "Keith would love you! I'll call him now!" She pulled a sparkly blue phone out of her pocket and started to dial.

"Rae, please wait until after class," Konan lectured. "I need to finish taking roll."

"Yes, sir!" Rae saluted.

"But I'm not—oh, whatever. Is Saruwatari Ayumi here today?"

"Here," the red-and-black-haired eighteen-year-old said from her seat in the back of the room. Her red eyes stood out from her pale skin, and they matched the red t-shirt she wore, proclaiming "Bite me" in block letters. Over the shirt was a black jacket, which she wore with jeans. "You can call me Saru, though."

"I'll remember that," Konan said. "Okay...Robbi?"

"Here!" a blonde girl with glasses announced. Her blue t-shirt had a picture with a penguin on it, along with "The penguin made me do it!" in bubble letters.

"I love your shirt!" Rae squealed.

"Thanks!" Robbi chirped back. The two started giggling.

"I should've just gone to hell..." Konan sighed. "Okay, Mic Blackhand?"

"Here." Other than Puppet, Mic was the only male in the class. His shaggy indigo hair flopped into his green eyes, and matched his white skin with blue undertones. He wore a black sweatshirt and blue jeans.

"Sakamoto Itoe?"

"You can just call me Saki," the black-and-red-haired girl sitting next to Saru called out. Her hair went down to her waist, with bangs flopping into her crimson eyes. She wore a black tank top and a black skirt with shorts underneath, along with black (with hints of red) cat ears on a headband on her head.

"I'm going to need a dictionary to remember these names," Pein grumbled.

Konan shushed him. "Laia?"

"I'm not here today," a blonde girl sitting near the back scoffed sarcastically. Her blue-green eyes had tawny tints in the middle. Her black t-shirt read, "Annoying the world, one person at a time".

Konan rolled her eyes and moved on to the next name. "Kira?"

"Hey." Kira had tanned skin, with long white hair that stood out. Her eyes were golden and sparkled under the lights.

Konan sighed with relief as she reached the last name. "Gina Shinjuko?"

"Actually, it's pronounced with a G, not a J," the pale, silver-haired girl next to Meya replied. Contrasting with her pale skin were a black t-shirt, dark jeans, and a navy-blue choker necklace.

"I'll remember that," Konan said, marking something in the roll book. "And finally, Rei?"

"Present!" a black-haired girl with yellow eyes bubbled. She wore a black shirt, jeans, black high tops, and a green sweatshirt with the hood pulled up.

"Okay, that's everyone," Konan said. "Phew."

Meanwhile, Hidan was busy reading everyone's shirts. "Kakuzu! Check out that shirt!" he whispered, pointing at Saru.

Saru raised her eyebrows. "Why are you looking at my shirt, manwhore?" she replied. Hidan bristled.

"What did you say to me, bitch?" he demanded.

"Are you deaf too?" Saru asked.

"Why you—"

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" chanted Robbi, Emilie, Rae, Rei, and Sabi. Gina, Kira, Laia, and Meya all put their heads in their hands.

"Wanna take this outside?" Saru asked, cracking her knuckles. "I can make you _bleed_!"

Hidan grabbed his scythe. "It's on!"

"No!" Tobi shouted, grabbing him around the waist. "Hidan-san, we're supposed to be _helping_ the community!"

Hidan let out an exaggerated sigh. "Fine. But once this community service is over, I'll hunt you down." Saru snorted.

"And to think this happened all because you said that she had a cool shirt," Sasori sniffled.

"He had a right to, you know," Kakuzu said. "This place is like a slogan t-shirt festival!"

"Good idea," Deidara said. "Okay guys, you each get a free black t-shirt." He grabbed a box of black t-shirts and threw one to each person. Everyone tacked them to their easels. "And here are fabric paints and letter stencils." He tossed those to everyone. "Okay, you have to paint a picture on the shirt and then make up a slogan to go with it."

"Now start painting," Pein said. "You have thirty minutes."

Everyone bent over their easels as Pein nudged Tobi. "Go check on everyone from time to time," he whispered.

"Why me, Pein?"

"Because you're hyper. Now go!" Tobi obediently skipped across the room. He leaned over to check on Puppet's shirt.

"Puppet-san, why aren't you painting?"

"I don't have hands," Puppet dryly replied. "Plus I don't wear clothes."

"You can use your mouth!" Tobi suggested. Puppet sighed and picked up a brush with his mouth and dipped it into the fabric paints. "That's good!" He clapped his hands and moved on to the next easel.

Tobi walked over to Robbi, who was eagerly painting her shirt. "Hello, Robbi!" he chirped, examining her t-shirt. "You're doing a great job!"

"Thanks, Tobi!" she replied. Tobi walked off to check on more shirts. Monika and Mei were both painting at insanely fast speeds, whispering to each other the whole time.

"Slogan psychos," Hidan whispered to Kakuzu.

Tobi walked over to Saki's easel and jumped back as he saw the ears on her headband twitch. Saki giggled and continued painting.

"Okay, you all have ten minutes!" Kisame announced.

Laia walked over to him. "Oh Kisame, I made you something," she said innocently as she gave him a hat.

"Um, thanks," Kisame muttered. "Go back to your painting."

"Hey, what'd she give you?" Itachi asked. "A hat? What does 'Diputs' mean?" Kisame shrugged and put the hat on.

From her easel, Laia snorted and pulled out a cell phone. Without attracting any attention, she snapped a picture of Kisame and put the cell phone back.

"Okay, time is up!" Hidan announced. "Turn in your shirts." Everyone obliged, and he gathered a large pile of t-shirts. "Okay. Whose is this?"

The shirt had an extremely detailed portrait of Pein painted on the front, holding a blood-smeared knife. Red, dripping letters above his head read, "Why with the pain?"

"Over here," Meya said with a casual wave of her hand. "Like it?"

"Meya-san?" Tobi asked.

"What?"

"Why are you so obsessed with Pein-sama?" Tobi stared at her through his mask. Meya shrugged.

"Anyway, does this belong to Monika?"

"How'd you guess?" Monika chuckled. Her shirt declared, in block letters, "Can you see when you're dead?" An extremely well-drawn pair of eyes on the back of the shirt stared at the class.

"I'm scared!" Rae whimpered, hiding her head in her hands.

"Shut it. Kori, is this yours?"

"No, it's your mom's," Kori snarled. "Of course it's mine!" The shirt was decorated with two hands, each one raising its middle finger. The slogan was, "What are you looking at?"

"Why you—" Hidan seethed. "Would this one happen to belong to Rae?"

Rae looked alarmed. "How did you know?" The shirt was painted with a penguin sitting on a toilet, reading a newspaper. In sloppy letters, it said, "Pengoos can pee?!"

"I think you might've misspelled 'penguins,'" Gina dryly snorted.

Rae looked confused. "Really?"

"WHO DOES THIS BELONG TO?" Hidan interrupted. "Anyone?"

"Over here!" Mei waved. "Like it?" The t-shirt declared, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words." The picture was of a shield, with "Anti-Sweet" written on it.

"Nice. Anyway, what about this?"

"Ooh! Ooh! Me!" Sabi called out. It said "OMG" in large letters, surrounded by elaborate fireworks.

"Fireworks!" Deidara squeaked.

"Shut it," Hidan hissed. "How about this one?"

"It's my shirt!" Emilie called out. A fierce-looking dog stretched across the front, its mouth pulled back into a snarl. "I'm watching you" was the slogan above its head.

"Is this Puppet's shirt?" Hidan asked, not even commenting on Emilie.

"Yeah," Puppet replied. The shirt was painted with an elaborate portrait of Mewtwo (also from the _Pokèmon_ world) with "Survival of the fittest" painted above his head.

"Okay," Hidan said. "Does this belong to...Saru?" He practically spat her name out.

"Good job," Saru said sarcastically. There was a picture of Hidan covered in blood and dancing. The slogan was in a speech bubble above Hidan's head: "I am a manwhore, I am a manwhore, I am a manwhore, yay!"

Hidan clenched his fists. "Once this art class is done, you're finished!" he snarled. Saru rolled her eyes.

Hidan swallowed. "Okay, is this Robbi's shirt?"

"Sir yes sir!" Robbi shouted. The shirt was dark blue, with an octopus painted on it. In large red letters, it said, "The octopus has eyes everywhere..."

"Of course it does," Laia muttered. Gina snorted.

"Whose is this?"

"Mine," Mic said. The shirt showed the ocean, with fireworks exploding above. Somehow, Mic had painted the fireworks so they looked like exploding cookies raining down from the sky. Right in the middle, the shirt read, in pointy letters, "You're sharp."

"Cookies!" several people in the middle of the room squeaked. Mic looked amused.

"How about this one?" Hidan asked, totally ignoring their little outburst.

"It's mine!" Saki declared. She'd splattered red paint all over the shirt, so it was black-and-red. The wording was white, and it said, "You ain't seen nothing yet!"

Deidara looked pleased. "It's so creative!" He looked like he was about to start tap-dancing, until Hidan coughed. Deidara backed up, looking embarrassed.

"So, does this belong to Laia?"

"Yes it does," Laia said in an exaggerated voice. Gina and Meya put their heads on the desks and laughed. The shirt had a modified quotation on it. "...and then shame upon him who will not stretch out the killing hand to his brother." (1) There was a picture of Itachi killing Sasuke on it.

"Very nice," Itachi said with a smirk. Laia smirked back.

"Anyway," Hidan interrupted. "Whose is this?"

"Over here," Kira said solemnly. The shirt had assorted flowers, all in muted colors, elegantly painted on it, and it read, "Forever."

"I don't get it," Rae loudly complained. Essentially everyone in the class shook their heads disgustedly at that moment.

Hidan held up the next shirt and opened his mouth. "It's my shirt," Gina said before he could get a word in. The shirt read "Life isn't fair" and had a dark red (with black trim) gavel on it.

"So Rei, is this yours?" Hidan asked, holding up the only shirt left in the pile.

"Of course," she said. The shirt had a picture of Orochimaru in a fire on it. In flaming letters, it said, "Burn, baby, burn".

Tobi looked offended. "That's not nice!" he gasped. Deidara bonked him on the head. "Sorry, Deidara-senpai." Deidara just rolled his eyes.

"Okay, that's everything. And unfortunately, we have no time left." Pein inwardly cheered when he saw that the clock read that the class was over. "So tomorrow, you don't need to do any crafts. You just need to bring your brains."

"That might be hard for some of them," Gina whispered to Laia, Meya, and Kira.

"We will be having a debate about art. There are two sides."

Sasori jumped out. "There's my side—that art lasts forever!"

Deidara pushed him out of the way. "And then there's my side—art is fleeting."

"Think about which side you want to take," Pein said, in full-on teacher mode. "And if you wish, prepare a speech. We may ask you to defend your position at any time."

"And since class is over, you can go home now," Tobi added. "Have fun!"

-:-

Note: Dang, seventeen characters is a lot to work with. Remember: **do not send me cameos.** However, if you have anything you want your characters to say during the debate, feel free to send it to me through PM or review. Everyone else—I'll improvise, much like I do when the characters create works of art. If you don't trust me, send me your character's stand!

(1) The last half of a Theodore Roosevelt quote. I wanted something about brothers, so I looked around until I found one. I took the last half and fixed it up a little. And yes, I know why Itchy kept Sasuke alive. So don't review and say, "Actually, Itachi kept Sasuke alive because (censored for spoilers)." I already know, thank you.

The reason why I didn't update for half a year was lack of motivation. Sure, I had cameos, but I had barely any comments about the story itself. Now that I'm **not accepting cameos**, review about the story itself! Review! Tell your friends to review! Tell your friends to tell their friends to review! Shameless self-promotion.


	4. Debate of total intenseness!

Note: Must write! Must write!

Okay, cameos are _still_ closed. Why? Because there are tons of characters in the story already, and I need to give everyone at least _some_ airtime. As for you naughty people who submitted cameos before reading chapter three (tsk tsk!), I will get to your characters eventually, but not right now, since I'm still drowning in characters. Remember—I will get to your characters once I've given the other characters their chances to shine. So please, for the love of all things good, please don't review asking me why I didn't put your character in this chapter. Patience, grasshopper.

If the debate totally sucks, I'm sorry. I'm not too familiar with this kind of stuff. My debate class doesn't start until fall.

Sorry for taking so long, but my computer turned screwy and the internet wasn't working at all for about a week. So I couldn't update. And then I lost this file, and then I had all of my horrid summer homework to do, which was intense.

-:-

"It's debate day!" Tobi sang out. "Who do you think is going to win, senpai? Your side or Sasori's side?"

"My side, un," Deidara replied. "Only smart people believe that art is fleeting. So obviously I will win."

"No," Sasori cut in. "Only loud, stupid idiots think art is a bang. Deep, intelligent people believe that art is beautiful and should be treasured forever." Deidara waved his comment away much like he waved Tobi away when Tobi ate a lot of ice cream and started asking Deidara to ballroom dance with him.

"Yeah, yeah," Deidara mumbled. "You can say that after I win." Sasori rolled his eyes to the heavens, either praying for intelligent debaters or something to shut Deidara's mouths with.

"Okay, who has the key?" Pein asked, standing at the door. "The door won't open."

"Then how would the students get in?" Tobi asked. "Do you think they can teleport?"

Sasori walked over and turned the knob, which turned easily. When he tried to push, the door didn't budge. "It seems like they're all leaning against the door right now."

Zetsu sighed. "I'll handle this one." He cracked his knuckles and forced the door open. Several surprised students flew off their feet and landed on the ground.

Saru looked up. "Nice one. I think you made me bleed." She examined her hand, which was indeed bleeding.

"Saru, would you like a Band-Aid?" Tobi asked, handing her one. Saru shrugged and took it from him. As she opened the wrapper, she snorted.

"Tobi?" Tobi looked over. "This has Winnie the Pooh on it." Tobi looked surprised.

"Oh! I'm saving that one. Let me get you a better one." He handed her a plain one, which she placed over the scrape on her hand.

"Okay, everyone in their seats!" Pein yelled. Alarmed, the students who were up scurried across the room to their easels.

"That's better," Hidan said. "Okay, Meya?" Meya nodded over at him. "Monika?"

"Here," Monika replied.

"Kori?" Kori giggled.

"Hey, Hidan," she replied. Hidan raised his eyebrows.

"Hey, Kori. So...Rae?"

"Yellow!" Rae sang. Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Mei?"

"Hiya," Mei replied, waving.

"Someone kill me..." Hidan mumbled.

"But you're immortal," Saru cut in, in a very sing-sing voice. "You'll just have to deal with us forever." She dragged out the last word, and Hidan clenched his teeth.

"Only speak when you are spoken to, demon child," he hissed. "Sabi?"

"Here!" Sabi replied.

"Emilie?" There was no reply. Hidan scanned the room. Emilie sat in the back, so there was no way to see if she was here or not. "Emilie!"

"Wha?!" Emilie interjected, dropping her murder mystery on the floor. "Oh. I'm here!"

Hidan gave her a scary smile and moved on to the next name. "Puppet?"

"Here," Puppet replied calmly.

Hidan looked like he was having trouble. Finally, he spat, "Saru?"

"Right here!" she said cheerily, waving her hand in an exaggerated manner.

"Unfortunately," he hissed. "Robbi?" Once again, there was an awkward silence. "Robbi?" Everyone sat in silence. Finally, a voice broke the silence. At first, it sounded like someone was reciting poetry, but they soon realized that Robbi was singing along with whatever was blasting through her headphones.

"Robbi!" Hidan shouted. Robbi looked up and waved. "No headphones in class." She sadly took off the headphones. "That's better. Now is Mic here?"

"Yes sir," Mic replied.

"Saki?"

"Over here!" Saki replied, waving.

"Laia?"

"Present."

"Kira?"

"Here."

"Gina?"

"I'm here," she replied.

"And finally...Rei?"

"I'm here," Rei replied.

Hidan slammed the roll book shut. "Okay, that's everyone. Now, I'm sure you all know what will happen now."

"We eat cheese and peanuts?" Rae guessed.

"No," Hidan replied curtly. "Anyone else?" Kori waved her hand in the air frantically. "Yes, Kori?"

"We have our debate!" she exclaimed.

"That's correct," Hidan said. "Now, in case anyone forgot, we're debating to see if art lasts forever—" Sasori cheered. "—or if it is fleeting." Deidara cheered. "Now, who would like to start?" There was silence. "Okay, I'll pick. Saki, how about you start?" Saki grinned nervously and stood up.

"I pick both, because I agree with both sides." Deidara and Sasori both stood with their jaws slack.

"You can't do that!" Deidara sputtered. "Saying that his side is just as good as mine...ugh! Horrible!"

"You're telling me! She said that your horrendous statement was just as good as mine! And not only that, she mentioned it in the same sentence as mine!" Sasori shivered.

Hidan looked frustrated. "Saki, you have to pick one side. That's the whole point of the debate."

Saki blinked. "Bite me." Then she jumped behind Saru, who grinned evilly at Hidan.

Pein let out a huge sigh. "Saki, please say something that actually makes sense."

"Orochimaru is as straight as a rainbow!" Saki hollered. Rei cracked up and reached over to give Saki a high five.

There was a silence among the Akatsuki members.

"...you know, that actually makes sense," Itachi mumbled.

"I know," Sasori agreed. "I was his partner, and that's a pretty accurate description of him."

"Did he ever hit on you?" Saru asked, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. Kori burst out laughing, while everyone else looked disgusted.

Sasori looked at the ground. "Well, uh, actually..."

Monika leaned in eagerly. "It's okay Pinokiyo, you can tell us! We'll keep it a secret!" Then she turned to Mei and whispered, "Not."

By now, Sasori's face matched his hair. "Moving on!" he yelled.

"Touchy," Puppet muttered.

Sasori ignored him. "Okay, what do you think, Kori?" he asked, turning expectantly towards Kori.

"Art should last forever," Kori nonchalantly replied, not even looking up from her notebook.

Sasori pumped his fists in the air. "Did you hear that, Deidara? Kori thinks _my_ stand is better!"

"Beginner's luck," Deidara scoffed. "She's not even looking up! I'll bet you used your puppet-ness to trick her into saying that!"

"What's puppet-ness?" Rae bellowed. Everyone ignored her.

"Yeah, what are you drawing?" Sasori asked, walking over to Kori's desk and scooping up her notebook. Kori had drawn a heart with an arrow through it, with blood dripping down from the whole. Inside the heart, in fancy lettering, it said, "Hidan".

Kori snatched it. "Give that back, dammit!" she snapped. Sasori flinched.

"Looks like she doesn't like you much now, eh Sasori?" Deidara cackled.

Sasori bristled. "Shut up. Anyway, what do you think, Robbi?"

Robbi took off her headphones. "I respect both sides, but I kinda like Deidara's better."

"Ha!" Deidara hooted, doing a little victory dance. "She likes mine better!"

"Let's not forget that she still respects mine," Sasori hissed.

"Geezo peezo, you can't accept both _and _like someone's better," Saki giggled.

"Saki, please be quiet," Itachi lectured.

Saki turned pink and put on a deer-in-headlights face. "I-i-itachi sp-sp-spoke to me!" Afterwards, she promptly fainted.

"Is she okay?" Kisame asked.

Saru sighed. "It's okay, I've got her." She cracked her knuckles and slapped Saki across the face. "Wake up, idiot!" Saki blinked and looked around.

"Everyone, shut up," Pein snapped. "Okay, class is almost over, so ask one more person for their opinion before we're done for today. Sasori?"

Sasori paused. _I need to pick someone smart,_ he thought. _Someone deep and intelligent who truly appreciates art._ "Gina?"

Gina shrugged. "I guess I'm in between."

"What?!" Deidara and Sasori bellowed.

"Art doesn't immediately disappear, but it won't always remain the same," she replied. "True art is always enjoyed by everyone, and even when it changes it still brings joy."

"No!" Deidara yelped. "You have to choose one side! One side is always better!"

Gina rolled her eyes. "A house divided against itself cannot stand." The two stared blankly at her. "Divisions within the organization aren't good. It's okay that you think it's fleeting and you think it lasts forever, but neither side is universally correct."

By now, the two were steaming. "That wasn't part of the deal!" Deidara snapped, slamming his hand down on her desk (and accidentally ingesting her pen in the process).

"Yeah!" Sasori added, also slamming his hand down (though his hand didn't eat anything of hers). "Pick a damn side now!"

Gina looked up with a smirk. "Go to hell," she replied, looking well aware of what she was saying.

Sasori turned pale and started rocking back and forth on his heels. "No...don't take me...I won't go!"

"And Sasori has left the building," Mic snorted.

Zetsu stood up. "I agree with Sasori," he declared. "If it doesn't last forever, you cannot call it art."

Sasori stopped rocking and grinned. Zetsu sat down and stood up again.

"I agree with Deidara!" he announced. "Nothing lasts forever, and something as wonderful as art deserves to go out with a bang!" He paused, and then said, "No, you idiot! It lasts forever!" Zetsu slapped himself. "You're the idiot! It's spectacular, like fireworks!" Then, Zetsu started arguing with himself, occasionally slapping his face between phrases.

"And that's why I think we should stop arguing like idiots," Gina muttered.

Sasori stood up. "Gina is right!" he exclaimed. "We shouldn't be arguing. Just look at poor Zetsu." He pointed at Zetsu, who was currently rolling around on the ground and kicking himself in special places.

"I agree," Deidara said. "Arguing is for children." Then the two embraced.

"Awwwww," Kori scoffed.

"How sweet," Laia sarcastically added.

Pein, eager to put an end to this disturbing display of affection, stood up. "Well, you guys can go now. Tomorrow, we'll either do something artistic or maybe we'll continue this debate...whatever..." Everyone stampeded outside.

"Are they gone yet?" Deidara asked.

"Yeah," Sasori replied.

The two pushed each other apart. "Let's never do that again," Deidara mumbled.

-:-

Note: I have no idea why I put that. But I have a couple of dance auditions in this week (I'm trying out for a hip-hop team on Wednesday and a jazz team on Thursday), so for the past week I've been a nervous wreck, jumping around like a grasshopper on sugar high and acting like a complete nutcase. As this chapter demonstrates. :D

I'll see if I can squeeze in a few of the newer cameos in next chapter, but for now, **new cameos are not accepted.**


	5. Burn, baby, burn!

Note: Sorry, guys, it's been a busy time, with dance and water polo and school and—

Readers: Yeah, yeah, sure.

It has been a busy time! But I know it's been like a million years. So I shall update my story.

And as per IcyxShadows's suggestion, I did make Black Zetsu's speech in boldface. It is a lot easier to read now. So thanks for the tip! :D

And I don't feel like doing my biology homework, so I'll just keep writing this!

-:-

"Don't you just love this sense of camaraderie we're feeling?" Tobi asked, linking arms with Deidara and Sasori. "It's almost like we're a real team now! A team that prays before every event, and wishes each other luck, and builds each other up instead of bringing each other down. Oh, and we bake brownies for everyone because we love each other so much!"

"I wanna be MVP!" Kakuzu announced. "Can you imagine the publicity coming with that? And publicity brings money...." He started rubbing his hands together greedily. "I can see my name up in lights!"

"You'd be a great MVP!" Zetsu said enthusiastically, clapping his buddy on the back. "**Sasori would be so much better!**"

"I'll never get used to him," Kisame sighed. "Anyway, I want to be the MVP! Why would they pick that loser to be the MVP? I'm, like, a shark or something!"

Meanwhile, Zetsu was still arguing with himself. Everyone ignored him.

"What should we do today?" Deidara asked, still sore that the students didn't flock to his side during the debate. "How about we don't have a debate?"

"Pick me, pick me!" Tobi squealed. "I think we should decorate brownies! We can have all sorts of beautiful sprinkles and frosting and candles, and then we can eat the brownies and be happy and full of delicious brownies!"

"I'm allergic to chocolate," Pein said.

"I'm so sorry!" Tobi wailed, wrapping his arms around Pein. "You can't eat chocolate? That must cause so much pain!" Tobi paused. "Pun intended."

Zetsu was still arguing with himself. "Maybe we should stop arguing now. I'm getting thirsty. **Are you stupid? Let's have a drink and get back to arguing!** I guess that'd be okay. How about some Pepsi? **No way! Dr. Pepper is where it's at. **Well, I'm the good half, and I say Pepsi! **Well, I'm the dark half, and everyone likes evil better, so we're drinking Dr. Pepper! **Pepsi! **Dr. Pepper!** Pepsi! **DR. PEPPER!"**

Konan walked over and poured a can of Pepsi and a can of Dr. Pepper into one glass. "There you go. Now stop arguing with yourself. You know what happened last time."

"_Pink is better! __**No! Purple!**__ Pink! __**Purple! **__Pink! __**Purple!**__ Pink! __**Purple!**_" _Zetsu then exploded. "Um, can someone put me back together? It happened again."_

"Oh yeah," Zetsu said. "That wasn't very smart. **It was a perfectly reasonable argument."**

"And yay, we're here!" Pein interrupted. "I already have a migraine. Did anyone bring drugs?"

"Drugs are for thugs!" Tobi blurted.

"That's a new one. Put it on a wristband," Kisame muttered, fiddling with the lock on the door. "And we're here!" He held his arms out as he paraded in, still imagining himself as the MVP.

Kira saluted. "Welcome," she cracked. "Maybe you should be on time to your own class, you know?"

Kisame bared his very sharp teeth. "Maybe you should shut up!"

Kori leaned away from him. "Ew, brush those things before you come near me, asswipe."

Meya scooted her desk closer to Laia, Kira, and Gina. "I have such a migraine right now." She pulled some pills out of her purse and dropped them into her mouth. "It's going to be such a long day."

Pein's metal-covered nose started twitching. It looked kind of like a satellite. Or maybe a UFO. But regardless of what it looked like, it had a very nice sense of smell, and it led him straight to Meya's purse.

Meya grinned down at him. "Hey, can I help you with something?" Her purple lips parted, flashing the cat on her tongue once again. "Is there something that you need?" Her eyes had a dangerous look to them. Rae, on the other side of the room, hid under her hoodie. Rei, on the other hand, torched a snake-shaped plushie on her desk and clapped with glee, as Rae scooted over and excitedly watched the plushie burn. Tobi confiscated her matches and gave her "Cliché School Lecture 812", also known as "If you play with fire, you could burn things and make asthmatic peoples' throats very sad inside."

"Was that migraine medication?" Pein asked, trying not to meet Meya's gaze. On the other side of the room, Mic started poking the ashes on Rei's desk with what looked like a ridiculously sharp letter opener. Robbi motioned for Deidara to come over and started whispering something into his ear. Deidara's eyes lit up, and he pulled something out of his pocket. The rest of the class ignored them.

"Yes, it was," Meya purred. "Do you need any?"

Pein nodded furiously, which didn't make his migraine any better. "Yes. Yes. Yes, I need migraine medication."

"I don't know," Meya sighed, rattling the tube of pills. "I only have one more dose left. And if I'm going to have to spend the rest of the day with them—" Meya pointed to Rei, Mic, Robbi, and Emilie and Rae, who had joined the group. Deidara was showing them something in a red cloth pouch. They all clapped delightedly. "—I might need my migraine medicine for that."

"Please!" Pein begged, dropping to his knees in a very cliché attempt at groveling. "I'll do anything!"

"Oh, that was the wrong choice of words," Monika whispered to Mei. Mei and Monika snorted and glanced over at Pein, who looked nervous.

"What do you mean, wrong?" Pein asked. Mei shrugged.

"Check out your drug dealer over there." She pointed at Meya with a long, square fingernail. Pein reluctantly glanced over and winced. Meya had picked up on his word choice and was smirking at him, her red eyes glittering with mischief.

"Anything, you say?"

"I am so bored," Saru whispered to Saki.

"What am I supposed to do about that?" Saki asked, the cat ears on her headband twitching in time with her words. She pulled out a piece of paper and started doodling a picture of Itachi in a tuxedo.

"Let me guess," Saru said, glancing at the picture. "You're drawing yourself in a wedding dress next too him?"

Saki's ear's twitched. "You can't have my husband!" she snapped, marching off to an empty desk next to Puppet. With a sigh of relief, she continued drawing her picture, this time including a sunset behind Itachi.

Puppet glanced at the picture. "You're marrying Itachi?"

"Stop trying to steal my future husband!" Saki cried, crawling under a random sink in the corner to continue her picture.

"I don't want him," Puppet said to no one in particular. But, alas, alack, Itachi heard him.

"What's wrong with me?" Itachi demanded. "Well? I'll let you know that I have a lot of fangirls out there. Much more than you."

Puppet glanced around. "Oh...look. Free hugs."

"Where?" Itachi squeaked, running off in search of the hugs, giving Puppet enough time to make a hasty retreat.

Laia glanced over. "Itachi's giving out free hugs? Ooh la la." She ran after him.

Saki's cat ears twitched. "What? No way! He's mine!" She ran after Laia. "He's my boyfriend!"

Saru sighed again. "I am so bored right now!" she exclaimed to no one in particular, which seems to be the theme of this chapter. "I think I'll do something mean to Hidan!" Saru looked around carefully. "Now, who can help me?" Her eyes fell on Sasori, who was sitting in a chair looking bored. "Sasori!"

Sasori glanced over. "What?"

"Wanna help me do something mean to Hidan?" she whispered. Sasori glanced at Hidan and shrugged. "Bitchin'!"

"What's the plan?" Sasori asked.

"Well, I need the help of your removable arms," Saru explained. "That's why I picked you!" Sasori looked down at his arms in shame. "There's no time to have self-esteem issues now, we need to use your arms!" Sasori, with one last withering look at his arms, nodded.

"So, what exactly are we doing?"

"Well," Saru said. "We're going to use the fine art of framing." Sasori nodded carefully. "And we're going to use Kakuzu as the victim here," she continued. "With your removable arm, I'm going to sneak up on Kakuzu and take his wallet," she explained. "And then I'll take the wallet and put it in Hidan's pocket, but have it sticking out a lot. And then, we'll say, 'Hey Kakuzu, I'll bet you don't have more money that me.' He'll want to prove us wrong, so he'll take out his wallet, but uh-oh, he doesn't have it. We'll pretend to be nice and help him look for it, and we'll lead it to Hidan, who, uh-oh, has it sticking out of his pocket." Saru smiled evilly at Sasori. "Are you in?"

Sasori glanced at Hidan. "Sure, I guess so." With a sigh, he popped off one of his arms and passed it to Saru.

Saru silently crept up behind Kakuzu, who was currently arguing with Kisame about who deserved to be MVP. Kisame shot Saru a weird look, and Saru quickly motioned for him to shush before he blew the entire prank. Kisame shrugged and kept arguing with Kakuzu. During one of Kakuzu's more passionate rants, Saru stuck the hand into Kakuzu's pocket, forcing the fingers to close around his wallet. Once the wallet was secure in Sasori's detached hand, Saru scampered away from Kakuzu, whose body odor made her want to vomit.

"Did you get the wallet?" Sasori asked.

"Yeah, and let's just drop it in Hidan's pocket before I puke," Saru muttered. She ran over to Hidan, quietly dropped the wallet in his pocket, and raced back to Sasori. "Here's your arm back."

Sasori sniffed his arm. "Ew, it smells like rotting flesh!" He walked over to the sink and started washing it off, grumbling about stupid Kakuzu.

"Okay, let's put my plan into action," Saru cackled to herself. "Hey Kakuzu!" Kakuzu turned to her expectantly. "I'll bet I have more money in my wallet than you have in your wallet!" Kakuzu looked shocked.

"As if!" he cackled. He reached into his pocket, and Saru bit her lip. "Wha...where's my wallet?" His face turned pale and his eyes welled up with tears. "My wallet is missing! Wha-wha-what can I do?"

Saru patted him on the back sympathetically. "Don't worry," she said. "I'll help you find it." Kakuzu's face brightened. "Let's go look over there by Hidan."

"Why Hidan?" Kakuzu asked, walking towards Hidan. "He's my friend, he'd never—is that my wallet?!" Kakuzu's eyes got a funny look to them as he marched over to Hidan. "I can't believe you'd do this to me!" he snapped. "What kind of friend are you?"

"Do what to you?" Hidan asked, looking up at him. Kakuzu snatched his wallet out of Hidan's pocket. "What? I didn't know I had that in there!"

Kakuzu nodded. "Mm-hm. Sure."

"I'm serious!" Hidan protested.

"Let's go for a walk," Kakuzu snarled, dragging Hidan outside the classroom.

Saru leaned against the wall, basking in the glow of her victory. But what was this? Her glow was being blocked by something. It felt like death-glares. Saru opened her eyes, searching for the offender. Kori was glaring at her.

"Is there a problem?" she called out, too lazy to get away from the wall.

"Oh, no, I'm just glaring because I'm jealous of your hair," Kori muttered sarcastically.

"Oh," Saru called back, now trying to piss Kori off. "Well, sorry. I'm not really into girls, if you know what I'm saying."

"Yeah, I do," Kori said, walking over. "And you know what else I know?" Saru looked up at her. "I know that you just did that whole thing up there just to piss off Hidan."

"Yeah, I did," Saru said. "Wasn't it funny? Aren't you pissed off that I thought of it before you?"

Kori's eyes narrowed. "You want to take this outside, bitch?"

Saru peeled herself off the wall. "Yeah, let's." The two of them walked outside, glaring at each other the entire time.

Meya smirked at Pein, who had been fidgeting and trying to figure out an excuse to take back his words. "Well? Will you do it for me?"

"Um...actually, I don't think I need to," Pein said. "My migraine is actually going away!"

"No way, that is so freaking awesome, dude!" Rae shouted from across the room. Pein winced.

"It looks like you need it," Meya said. "Now, come on." She grabbed Pein's hand and led him into one of the empty cabinets that lined the classroom. Pein stared at the pills in Meya's pocket. Would it be worth it?

"So, did we find something?" Deidara asked his posse.

"How about that plant over there?" Emilie suggested, pointing across the room.

"Great idea!" Deidara squealed. "Plants are very—Emilie?" Emilie nodded. "That's Zetsu. We can't burn him." Emilie sat down disappointedly. "Now, now, let's not panic. Robbi, do you have any suggestions?"

"I wanted to burn the plant guy," Robbi said sadly, putting on her headphones. She started bobbing her head to the beat.

"Any other suggestions? Rei? Great. What do you have?"

Rei pulled five more snake-shaped plushies out of her bag and tied them into a knot. "Let's use these!"

"Great!" Deidara said excitedly. "This is going to go down huge!" He placed the knot on Rae's desk and reached into his mysterious red pouch.

Across the room, Gina leaned over to Kira. "Do you know what they're doing?" she asked, her blue eyes fixed on the tangle of snake toys.

"I stopped guessing a long time ago," Kira sighed, closing her eyes.

Gina paused. "But we've only known them for two days."

"Really?" Kira asked, studying the peppy group. "Well, it feels like I've been stuck with them for a lifetime."

"I know what you mean," Gina agreed. "I'd quit, but this is the only art class that suits my schedule, you know? So I guess I'm stuck with them until it ends."

Several things happened in the next second.

1. Pein screamed from inside the cabinet,

2. Sasori was elected MVP of the Akatsuki,

3. Laia and Saki caught up with Itachi,

4. Konan finally decided to take out the roll book and start class,

5. The art class exploded in a burst of fireworks.

-:-

Note: Man, this was a really fun chapter to write. I know we didn't actually...well...do anything, but I had a lot of fun working on it. Either that or I just reeeeeeally didn't want to finish my biology homework.

AND OMG I HAVEN'T DONE LIKE ANYTHING WITH PUPPET I AM SO SORRY, HE'LL HAVE A MAJOR ROLE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER FO SHO.

And for anyone who submitted a cameo after chapter 3, sorry, I don't have time to add in new cameos, so just sit tight and I'll stick them in when it's a good time. As for now, **don't send me new cameos, they won't be put in for a while, so just wait until I'm ready.**

Now, should I do my biology homework or should I finish the next chapter of Red Butterflies?


End file.
